So, I was listening to an audiobook and at some point it mentioned something about meditation and that, if you schedule it in, it somehow becomes another thing to tick off your list, and that pretty much puts you in a state where you’re not in the present moment cause you’ll be ok once you tick it off your list and that is, you guessed it, in the future.

I’m not sure how I feel about the scheduling part but somehow that made me think about time and how often, without realising it, I find myself rushing to do stuff only to get to the next thing.

I have noticed I do this with my reading and I often find myself feeling overwhelmed about when I’m going to finish the book instead of enjoying where I am in my reading right now.

I have definitely noticed this with my healing. I often find myself thinking about it as something to “just get it over with already” and then move on to the next thing, which by the way, I have no clue what it is but I still rush myself to get to it.

And today this made me realise this : there is the sneaky assumption that, unless I do something quickly, unless I “get on with it” , something extremely important will pass me by and I just need to make sure I don’t miss it because if I do then I will have lost an invaluable piece of the puzzle and then I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

Now, hear me out, this is quite interesting cause there are so many questions here.

First off, who says that I’m not going to miss “it” even if I go very quickly? Why is “it” so important that I just can’t afford to miss it? Who says that there is something missing and needs to be found in the first place? And if this thing is so important wouldn’t it make sense that there’s no way to ever miss it exactly because it’s so invaluable? If this thing is so important for me why doesn’t it come to find me but instead I have to go looking for it?

It’s been a pretty common theme so far in my life that I don’t want to miss out on that great thing, that one answer that answers all the questions, that one person who is perfect for me, that one key that can open any door etc.

My conclusion is that, if I don’t rush, I will miss nothing. There’s no place to get to, there’s no next stage in life that I need to reach, there’s no missing piece to find.

My life is whole and complete just as it is this very moment because I have decided that it is.

My life isn’t a puzzle with missing pieces.

It is a mystery to be cherished and honoured god damn it!

…And if by any chance I come across a puzzle piece I might put it in my pocket just in case 😉