I feel pulled towards giving up of all the things I used to be, all the things I used to cling to as truth. All the things I used to look and point at and say “that! that’s me!”. 

I found that, it’s not so much about clearing out the old, or removing what’s no longer needed, even though that can be an advantage, but rather deciding to let go of anything that your insides don’t say yes to immediately. 

Marie Kondo called this keeping only what sparks joy and even though when I first heard of that phrase it sounded a bit cringey, I think I understand it better now. 

There’s a part of me that feels like this lingering attitude around material stuff (and people I would add), has a lot to do with trust. A lack of trust. 

What if I need this in the future? What if I can’t find this again? What if I regret letting it go? What if there’s something extremely important and special about this item and if I let it go I can never get it back? 

There’s nothing wrong about these questions.

What’s interesting though is that, they seem to suggest that if this thing isn’t part of the picture, I’m not going to have what this thing represents for me. They seem to bestow a certain irreplaceability to the item which I believe isn’t true at all. 

How do you know how valuable something is to you unless you part from it? 

When it comes to declutterring items I have reframed the questions to something like , how does this make me feel? Is this useful? Does it make my life easier? Better in any way? What’s the cost of keeping it? What’s the cost of separating from it? 

Looking at those questions now I’m realising how human this is. How understandable. 

How precarious and cruel life can be that wanting (needing) to keep a certain object might be the only thing accessible to you to maintain a sense of safety, stability and comfort. 

How human of us. 

How much I don’t have to pretend that it’s easy to let things go. I’ve held onto things and people throughout my life with bleeding hands. My nails breaking and my skin tearing off and I’m still holding onto them like my life depends on it. Because it was. 

How human of me. 

There’s nothing wrong with what you need to maintain your humanity. Your stuff and your tears, your food and your medication, your prayers and your desires, your pets and your car, every little or big thing is holding your hand on your way to where you are going. 

Honour them.