I had an interesting realisation the other day that I feel is worth sharing.

I was reading a book on unschooling and before you ask why I’m reading books on unschooling since I don’t have any children, I’m here to tell you that reading this kind of content , makes my inner child feel seen and heard and cared for.

And so that’s why I enjoy this kind of content and it’s really freeing and fun and enjoyable and an overall breath of fresh air that I highly recommend to everyone!

So, the writer mentioned that she isn’t a teacher to her children but rather a learning facilitator, which I found rather interesting and a beautiful reframe to the usual dynamic I’m familiar with.

She said that she since there’s no curriculum to follow or a specific course to the children’s learning process, she trusts the children’s curiosity at all times. She trusts that, each kid can follow their interests and curiosities whenever they want and for however long they want. She is there to support with the learning process by introducing them to material and different resources, yet the kids are the only guides to their learning.

They can dip in and out of things without pressure to reach a particular destination.

There’s no finish line to their passions or a specific timeline that they must adhere to in order to move on to the next thing they want to try out. She trusts that their passions and curiosity will lead them where they need to go and that they can always trust the satiety they feel towards certain subjects and things.

To me that felt like a revolutionary idea and unsurprisingly something I had never thought of before. I’d never thought of this before because it genuinely never occurred to me. If I start something I make it my business to finish it. In my head it had always seemed like, unless this thing that I started is finished, whatever that looks like to me, it always hangs over my head as some kind of unfinished business that i failed at completing.

Unless the book is finished, unless the project is complete, unless that feeling of coming full circle has occurred, I’m not there yet. That thing is not finished and even in the realm of the unconscious I’m carrying it with me as something that I will tend to in due time.

Books that haven’t been read, videos and films that haven’t been watched, projects that haven’t progressed further, cleaning that wasn’t completed, declutterring that hasn’t even started, writing that’s not published etc, are all a form of unfinished business.

And so I ask you this : is this really true?

Is an unfinished book, an unfinished project something that hasn’t reached completion?

What is completion and what does it look like to me?

Is there such a thing as a finish line and who determines when i reach it?

Why have I been striving for completion instead of satisfying the desire in the moment and then letting it go?

Can I trust my curiosity and fascinations so much that I engage and disengage with material accordingly without the concept of completion getting in the way?

Can I trust myself so fully that I allow myself to take whatever feels useful and valuable in the moment and then move on to a different thing if that’s what makes sense?

This exploration made me think about my unfinished books and films and endless lists of “to read”, “to watch”, “to do”. In that moment I came to the realisation that I want to let them go.

Not in an effort to rid myself of something but rather because , I’ve taken the juice out of that thing, I don’t need to watch the whole video in order to get what I need. The feeling can be similar to insisting on finishing your food even though you already feel full enough. This mindset has kept me from trying out stuff in the past because “oh I already have so much that I haven’t finished yet and need to get to” , but do I though?

Maybe I will revisit that book, that video, maybe I’ll add something to that blog- maybe I will, maybe I won’t , but for now I know I’m good.